Did I just make the worst mistake of my life?

I met this guy - military. I knew him 20 years ago and we reconnected. Problem was that he had only been divorced a month when we started "dating". So I knew he wasn't ready for a relationship and I just let things be casual. In March, he started talking about me going to visit him in the city he is moving to (over 10 hours away) and that we would fly back and forth to see each other. He will be attending a military academy there. Then he told me that he was ready to move on to a relationship and that he was looking to get assigned to an ROTC position in my area. I didn't ask where the relationship was going. He offered the info. He was very sweet, texted me every day (we don't live in the same town). We never fought. Then one day like a light switch, he turned off all emotion, and I mean literally overnight...gone. I finally asked him whether he was being emotionally distant and he said yes, that he was/is. That he was sorry but he was moving across the state for a year and then didn't know where he was going to be after that. He said we could still hang out and talk, but that he needed to spend time with and focus on his children. I sent him a letter a few days later saying I could not do casual. It was a very nice letter, not angry or anything, saying that I couldn't do casual after dating 9 months and why (length of time together, that it went against my core values/beliefs and for health reasons) but that if he ever changed his mind, to let me know and if I was available, we could see where things stood. I also told him I'd have no problem if he contact me as a friend. Then he immediately responded saying that he got my email letter, but was busy and would respond to it later. Then a week went by and I hadn't heard anything. So I saw that he posted something onto FB and got furious...he had time to do that, but not to respond. So I sent him a text that he hadn't responded, that I had been nothing but good to him, which was a mistake, that I couldn't be his friend, that he had used me until the end and then pulled the rug out from under me and that the very least he could do is to let me have the same kindness and respect as I'd shown him. He texted me the next day saying that I needed to learn to be patient (I had dated him casually for 9 months...I'd say that's patient) and that he had told me he was getting too serious too soon and that he thought we were on the same page about being casual cause he didn't know where he was going to be after school. He said he didn't use me as I said. Then said that now I wanted to make it ugly? Then said, no more....response required, that he saw how I wanted this to be...fine I'm deleting your telephone number. I called a day later and left a rather emotional voicemail trying to explain that I had been patient (for 9 months) and that my actions were tied to being hurt. Then texted him a week later saying that I was sorry I had made him mad and for getting so angry and asked if there no room for forgiveness and asked him to please talk to me so that we could have a calm, adult converation. That I didn't want to be on nonspeaking terms. No responses to either messagest. I won't text him again, but I'm so confused. Help!